New Shoes and Chocolate Sundaes

What is love?...I can't fight this feeling anymore...I want to know what love is...Unbelievable sights, indescribable feelings...Living in a powder keg and giving off sparks...

You know, after nearly half a decade of the hustle and bustle of BYU co-ed life, I find myself wondering, 'What is love, anyway?' The answer remains the same as it has for the last four years of my life: Real love is like new shoes and a chocolate sundae. Really? Now, I don't want you to mistake me for a shopaholic or fashionista of any sort--heaven knows that until one week ago it had been over three years since I purchased a new pair of jeans--but, let me explain how the search for and landing of real love is not too different from a hunt for a perfect pair of shoes followed by a dessert that never gets old.

You all know what it feels like . . .you seriously need a new pair of shoes. You have been saving your money for the big purchase, and you make your trek to the mall with full commitment to find THE pair of shoes you want and need. After all, where there is a will, there is a way, right? You begin to shop. You look at a thousand different pairs of shoes in fifteen stores, but you find nothing that you are in love with. You consign yourself, out of obligation to fulfill your commitment, to start trying on some pairs, hoping that your initial impression was just wrong and that somehow you will magically adore the shoes once they are on your feet. Nothing. Nothing sings to you, nothing fits right, nothing turns that light on. Nothing gives you that "New Shoes" feeling. You start formulating some back-up pairs of shoes . . . you know, the pair that will just have to do even though they are not exactly what you want (not to mention the fact that they are WAY overpriced.)

Now, if you have ever been in this position before, you may be familiar with that empty frustration that begins to seep into your heart. But, when all is said and done, you know that you need a new pair of shoes. At this point you may begin to doubt your own sanity/conceitedness. How is that out of the thousands of shoes you have looked at you can't find just one that makes you want to throw down your money and take the dang pair home? Could your expectations for that pair of shoes be just a little too lofty? My mother would certainly say yes.

But then, just as you are about to give up in defeat, you decide to check one last rack of one more store. And there, shining like justice, are THE pair of shoes you have been looking for. Not even the vast, virtual shopping potential of the internet could have provided you with something you desired more. You don't know how to explain it, but you knew it when you saw the shoes. They were for you, and they were 40% off. Suddenly an intense feeling of relief and satisfaction encompasses you. How on earth did you ever doubt yourself? You found your pair of shoes, and with no hesitation you make the purchase. The usual doubt, analyzing and uncertainty that you feel about buying any other pair of shoes is gone as you buy the shoes with absolute confidence.

Do you know this feeling? The complete relief, joy, excitement and comfort found in finding the pair of shoes that you desperately needed, saved for, searched for, and, despite failed efforts, knew somewhere existed. This is the "New Shoes" feeling.

So the search goes on. Love IS a many splendid thing, and finding that one person who takes away the hesitation and anxiety from making a commitment is worth more than a grand shopping trip. Love isn't always brilliant or dignified or even obvious. And, like that pair of shoes that has been sitting for who-knows-how-long on the sale rack, the person who you love may not be right for anyone else. But they are yours, and you know it.

And once you've found the one that makes you WANT to give up being single in order to share your life with them, that love grows and gets better with time. It is like the best chocolate sundae you've ever had, but you never get sick of it, and it never gets old.

So to those of you who claim that marriage and commitment is death, I say: You just haven't found your new shoes yet. Maybe you haven't even been looking. But, when you do find them--and you will--love will become something more than a great mystery or a line on your to-do list. Love will keep you alive.